I do not consider myself having a story to tell but I want everyone to know my life story as I think it is interesting. I was the youngest kid in my family, lived with grandparents, my parents, two elder brothers and one elder sister. We used to be a strict business, upper-middle-class, educated family with their family values intact.

I was not interested in studies but it killed me when I scored low. My teachers used to appreciate me when I used to get good grades. As like every kid I wanted to get the best of scores but I was not as bright as my sister whom I looked up to as a role model. There was this constant underlying pressure of being compared with my elder sister throughout life. I had everything but I never felt like I did, though from everyone else’s point of view I was quite lucky.

It was a time of transition. The 90s came along with a lot of changes in society. People started going out, enjoying, having a good time, spending on having a decent standard of living, celebrating along with the age-old drama of not having enough money, not willing to spend on entertainment and/or restaurants. I could see both the kinds — the ones who wouldn’t give a damn to their father’s money, as well as the ones who were so diligent on saving money to make a bright future. I could say I was neither of the two. I wanted everything as well as I was big on saving money to quite an extent. I didn’t even like my school. I could see a lot of school kids getting in groups and teachers being partial.

I remember having a fight with one of my school teachers, slapping one of my classmates and having a troubled school life where you can see school bullying and unreasonable teachers. I never had a boyfriend, but I did make a few girlfriends. Though I liked a few boys, I never got approached neither did I try approaching any.

As a child, I was enrolled in a five-year course of Art that made me quite a person who I am now. My teachers used to always appreciate my art. I think I didn’t know back then who I was. In college when seniors would ask me what am I here for I would say “I don’t know”. People had their opinions about me — spoilt brat, dumb, stupid cow, low on IQ etc. etc. After completion of my undergrad design course, I started dating for the first time. The first time I fell in love with dreaming of having a boyfriend, family of my own in future. I learnt to drive my grandfather’s car which I loved at the same time, got a job but was fired in a month. Then came a realization that my career path was ambiguous with no plans. I had no definite career path, neither did I care enough to have one.

It was at the age of 21 I felt danger when I met with my first accident. It was the first time I got shit scared. My legs were shaky, the fear that you’re going to die. After that incident, I became more careful on my part, got into fitness and focused on having a proper job, getting some experience, but it was not for very long that I could stay in a proper job. I started working on my own and with the money saved I decided to go back to school but when I joined it again, my design school had changed. The same teachers had high expectations from us, made us slog even more while having it all together. I failed to cope up with learning, having a personal life, self-care, and independent living. Meanwhile, my so-called boyfriend ditched me for someone else and the pain of losing a relationship affected me for long. I discovered that on the personal front I am quite a softie. After much extensions, anxiety and self-loathing I got my masters degree and got into a decent teaching job and made some industry connections.

But one thing that never stopped was my love for travel, the love to explore new places and making new friends along the way. After all the growing up I am here to say that I now have faith in myself and also have started loving and valuing myself. I do care for others and my loved ones, my life and my work, though I never know that my career, love and life path can change anytime. I want to now live according to the intentions, dreams and long-held aspirations that I’ve held in my heart and mind for quite some time!